It is a Saturday night and I am staring in my closet begging for an outfit to jump out at me to wear that will be fabulous and comfortable. Sadly, I've been staring at my clothes for at least ten minutes and nothing has changed. You are probably thinking "oooo big date with the husband, huh?!"and you are WRONG. I wouldn't take so long to get dressed for my husband ((lol)) We are going to meet up with a guy my husband works with and I will be meeting him AND his wife. Someone who could possible be my potential new friend in this new place we are at. This is what I call friendship dating and not only that... but a BLIND friendship date.
I have done many of these "friendship dates". My husband normally works with guys that he connects with and says I should meet their wives because we would get along and yadda yadda yadda. These would be the blind dates. I do have to say, some of my best friendships have come from blind friendship dating. In recent years, Facebook groups have helped with connecting with new people. With being in the military life so long, you learn to realize that some people connect better with others... then there are those crazy army spouses that you just want nothing to do with. You know... the ones that "wear" their husbands rank and THINK they are above other wives because of this. Or those wives that are just so psycho about their husband... "OMG, that cashier at the PX was practically salivating over my husband while we were checking out... who does she think she is?!" Yes, those women are everywhere... military or civilian but I feel like majority of them... are associated with the military. Anyways, there is always a vetting process for me when it comes to friendships. I've let me guard down and let women I barely know into my life and home because deployment connected us... and then I got hurt and cast aside by those same women. Hence the friendship dating process.
For some reason, I also find it harder to find friends the older we get in the military. Being young and in Italy with no kids, I had my circle of friends that I depended on and loved as family. You would think that having kids would be a common ground with other women to talk to and make friends but... for me I feel intimidation.
I blame my hometown roots. I grew up in the same small town and went to the same school with the same kids from Kindergarten to high school graduation. I thought I was outgoing and social. Then I went to college... and reality smacked me in the face. I became shy and recluse. I realized in that one semester I did NOT want to be a teacher so I moved back home to community college to finish my freshman year. It was as if God took note of my uncomfortableness and said "Let's make her an army wife. That way she has to start over every 3 years and be in places she's never been before." This life has truly pushed me outside my comfort zone and because I was outside my comfort zone... I have made friendships that will last a lifetime.
So my friendship dating her in Oklahoma continues. I have met nice women and a new friend all thanks to Facebook. If you are wondering what happened on that Saturday night, I finally decided on an acceptable outfit, festive for the fireworks but comfortable since we were going to be outside. The potential friend was nice and seemed perfectly normal. As always... the friendship dating continues.
